Cleverness Spectrum Disorder

Granted, I am submerged beneath a pile of standardized labelling forms. “Does the child feel hurt when criticized?” Answer on a scale from 0 to 3. Um, yes, every human who is even a teeny bit emotionally healthy feels hurt when criticized. What? “Does the child light fires when he’s not supposed to?” Like sometimes he’s supposed to light fires?

And, voila, from the magic of adding in weird order comes a diagnosis. A word, followed by “Spectrum Disorder” will bring increased funding.

I think I have “Cleverness Spectrum Disorder”. It could be worse, I could be further along the spectrum and never clever. (But, as you can see, I am so naturally clever sometimes that even my sentences about cleverness rhyme.) The thing is, I have been too occupied elsewhere to write a post for a bit, but I haven’t forgotten that I like to. Every couple of days I cook up a new, clever topic for a post. Sometimes I jot down my cleverness – and put it somewhere that I will find it later.

Tonight, I have a moment – waiting for a phone call without enough time to start a new project. Do you think I can find any of my scraps of paper? Remember any of my words of wisdom? Nope.

Clearly a disorder.

So, I will leave you with this tidbit: Louise Hay, who writes about the emotional/mental connection to physical health and illness, has a handy reference chart where you can look up what ails you and get some perspective on what might be going on for you emotionally, or in your beliefs and mental habits. I was browsing in the “D”s.

Who looks up death? Really. Not the person who has this “dis-ease”. Maybe the family and friends who are saying, “Y’know, if we’d only be able to get him to stop singing all those heavy metal songs he might be alive today.” ???

8 comments to Clever

  • Oh, I’m so glad to see you poke your head out from under that pile of f***ing forms, Caitlyn! I was actually about to drop you a “You still out there? Hope you’re okay!” note.
    yeah – “Fill In The Blank Spectrum Disorder” – pretty much means “You don’t think or feel or act or react the same way we do, so there’s something Wrong with You! (It’s *never* the people writing the manuals who are “dis-ordered”, is it??!)

    Bright Blessings, and Welcome Back!

  • I lost a handful of my colorful guitar picks. Mostly, I’m chapped about my 2mm grey mandolin pick.

    I have Plectrum Spectrum Disorder.

  • OMG – you guys are so wonderful. First, Karen J gets all my political juices fired for the day, then, Joel has me ROTFL. I hope there’s a way to medicate that Plectrum Spectrum Disorder. I’m thinking it probably comes in liquid form! ;-)

  • I got a bit of my fix from hearing my daughter sing like Bessie Smith. She posted a recording of herself on Facebook, singing “Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out” and her own mother wasn’t sure who it was for a full minute. Find Rachelle Wells and give it a listen. Then consider that she’s about 5’2″ and kinda tiny.

  • Joel, you have to give me a link. I can find you and Rachelle singing but not “Nobody…”.

  • Maybe she’s hiding from you.

    If that doesn’t do the trick, we’ll try Plan B.

  • Elizebeth Baker

    Hi Caitlyn: I am pleased that you referred to Louise Hay – she does write excellent books and also has her work on CD’s – audio. I love your humor and realistic POV. Thanks.


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